I

For all the avoided truths, for all the lies wasted
The dreams changed their course, the life switched its path
Stuck in the maze of could have, should have, would have,
I follow hope like a musk deer.

I ran so hard that I lost direction
I dived so deep I turned shallow.
I look behind for what has been left behind,
I look around for what has been carried away.
Here I am, left with myself.
Walking in the void, nothing touches me, nothing catches my attention.
Hung between the coordinates, I glide through the nothingness.
I am a man without a fate, a journey without a destination.

I watch in silence as the curtains fall
and the stillness creeps in.
I reach out with my hands
and all I can scratch is emptiness stuck in my nails.
The plaster of the past doesn’t come out,
it remains and makes its presence felt.
Something alien, something that doesn’t belong.
something that should be gone. but doesn’t go..

The magic in the moments is not gone
but the moments are not magical anymore.
Love stories were always to end in happiness.
But the credits are rolling now n smiles are yet to follow.
I always believed in happy endings. I always was a masochist

My life, as I had dreamt of;
My dreams as I had seen them;
My vision, as I had imagined it to be;
My imagination, that went haywire.

Rain and Snow, Snow and Rain!

One falls thunderously, while the other comes surreptitiously.

Rains, when they come, announce their arrival beforehand.. The first drop never surprises. That't why sometimes it touches the longing in someone's eyes or liberates the song from someone'e lips. But when snow falls, it's silent everywhere. It arrives and settles down quitely in the courtyard, it sleeps off on your window without waking you up. It isn't shortlived. It stays despite the sunlight the next day, while the rain runs down the drain.

Burf aur baarish. Baarish aur burf.

Ek girti hai garaj k baras ke, ek aati hai raat mein chupchup ke.Par burf theher jaati hai.. Baarish ki tarah kshanbhangur nai hoti. Paani to beh jata hai, barasta hai, bhigota hai aur fir apna raasta dhund leta hai.. Burf dheere dheere risti rehti hai.. jahan raat bhar baarish teen ki chat pe naachti gaati rehti hai to burf pal-pal aangan mein apna dera failaati rehti hai..

This rain, it washes away all the mistakes I have made. It carries them away into the ocean where they finally rest. But hereon, the rainwater gathered in my courtyard refuses to hide any more of my pain. It throws back the reflections of all my scars that the rain couldn’t wash away. The downpour has washed away all dirt that lay on the surface, but has revealed what lied beneath.

But my snow does nothing of this. Though it doesn’t wash away anything, it brushes everything under it. It doesn’t turn into a mirror and becomes judgemental. It lets me be. But I know it transitory, for once the snow goes away, everything will return to redeem itself. The past is going to be the future again. So I must prepare for what is imminent. And like always, I don’t have an answer to my own queries.

So I stand at the horizon and look out. There is no one here and I see nothing but the clouds. The only sound I hear is of my own breathing. I know somewhere behind these clouds You must be plotting Your next move. Thinking if You should splash me with the deluge of your wrath and stir the dead life in me. Or would You rather pacify the storms inside me with the snow. I know not what You will decide.

Come drench me, I wish to cry. It’s been long, since I did. Come heal me with Your snow. The bleeding has been going on for long.